Hello, dear you!
I’ve started, trashed, and re-started this letter too many times to count, but this time I promise, I vow, I WILL finish and post it before my hand gives out and brain fog closes in. I’ll try to make it fast and short. Postcard length.
What I really want to say is: I’m sorry. Sorry for staying away so long, from you, from my writing, from the outside world. What happened was – well, I won’t go there just yet. But it has been an adventure, as surely as if I fell down the crevasse on this postcard. I’d love to tell you about it sometime. In another postcard, maybe. Or letter. Or – dare I say it – blog post. Because that’s what this will be, if all goes well. You’ll see this note as a blog post on the blog I’ve been wanting to write since I escaped the first crevasse I fell into, and lost my ability to write.
“Ability.” I think a lot about that word, and its antonym, “disability.” I’m a disabled person, but I don’t like how that mantle sits on my shoulders. It’s too tight. I’m a person with Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis and some other fascinating chronic health issues. That sounds better. And let’s face it – “ability to write” is a mild way to put something so amazing. You don’t realize until it’s gone how special it is, so let’s call it what it really is – a SUPERPOWER!
Wow, that doesn’t sound like me, but it sure felt good to write, and it’s true. I promise to only write things here that are true. I feel more comfortable using “superpower” for other people. Like authors I admire, and artists, scientists, health care workers, my family and friends and all the people who show up every day and LIVE and TRY and keep doing it, because sometimes it’s so damn hard.
After numerous falls into crevasses (and mud holes and pavement and floors.) I’ve learned there’s a positive side to crappy, painful experiences. And for all the sad, scary bits there are many more moments of joy and wonder. And if we can hold on to those, they can lift us up out of the crevasse. Will write more soon.
Love and virtual hugs,